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October 31, 2010

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24 Truths for Mature Humans

24 Truths for Mature HumansI didn’t make these up. I read them somewhere on Tumblr. But they made me laugh. Enjoy.

  1. The most important part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize that you’re wrong.
  3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
  4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
  5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
  7. Map Quest (or Google Maps!) really needs to start their directions on step five. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighbourhood.
  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
  10. Bad decisions make for good stories.
  11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything else productive for the rest of the day.
  12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever technology is invented after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… Again.
  13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I did not make any changes to.
  14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Budweiser than with Kay.
  17. I wish Google Maps has an “Avoid this Neighbourhood” routing option.
  18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  19. How many times is it appropriate to say, “What?!” before you just smile and nod because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
  20. I love the sense of camaraderie you feel when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
  21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  23. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey. But I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
  24. The first testicular guard, the cup, was used in hockey in 1874, and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
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2 Comments Post a comment
  1. Oct 31 2010

    #24 definitely leaves a lot for thought 😀 Ah… the nature of man… 😀

    Reply
    • Nov 4 2010

      It really does, doesn’t it Kelvin? 100 years. Just wow 🙂

      Reply

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