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May 11, 2012

Today’s To-Do List

Clever as a flock of foxesI found these on the internet. I didn’t come up with them; Although, I wish I had. You see, I’m as clever as a fox. Just one fox, though. Whoever came up with these is as clever as a whole squadron of foxes.

Hive? Murder? Flock? What, exactly, is the correct term for multiple foxes, anyway?

Check It Off

  • Wear a t-shirt that says, “Life.” Hand out lemons on a street corner.
  • Hire two private investigators, and get them to follow each other.
  • Major in philosophy. Ask people why they would like fries with that.
  • Go into a crowded elevator and say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here,” with a straight face.
  • Make vanilla pudding, put it in a mayonnaise jar, and eat it in public.
  • Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is “C.” Enjoy the show.
  • Wait until someone is about to sneeze. Right before they do, loudly scream, “Pika… PIKAAA!”
  • Run into a store and ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell, “It worked!” and run out cheering.
  • Buy a horse, name it “Oscar Takes the Lead,” and enter it in some horse races.
  • Invite someone into your office, turn around in your office chair, and say, “I’ve been expecting you…”
  • Change your name to Simon. Start speaking in the third person.
  • Become a doctor. Change your last name to Acula.
  • Buy a parrot. Teach him to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot!”
  • Follow joggers around in a car, blasting “Eye of the Tiger” for encouragement.
Ok, so I might need a little longer than a day to get through that list…
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